The Space Between
I was okay driving to the cabin, even though it was the first time back since he died. The frosted peaks and winter skyline were familiar friends. This landscape proved a distraction from my low-grade...
View ArticleHomeostasis
I’m back in physical therapy (“back” being the key word; it’s for my sore lower back and right hip). This is the most elderly-sounding thing I’ve ever written. I did therapy for a few months last...
View ArticleThis Is Your Task. You Are Called To It
It happened while I was doing my physical therapist-prescribed workout in front of the TV. That’s when God spoke to me. I’m not much of a TV-watcher, except for the occasional Masterpiece series, which...
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Easter Admission: Gratitude, Grief, and Ambivalence
Easter. The word tugs images and emotions from every layer of my memories. I encounter some stitched into the outer surfaces and unfold them with ease. Others, almost forgotten, require more effort to...
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The Errand of Angels
Months before my Mom passed away, I sat on the couch next to her and recorded her voice. I captured her thoughts, her laughter, and her gratitude for each of my siblings and my Dad. Friends, who had...
View ArticleSundays Away
When I Was a Child Growing up, I went to church weekly except during bouts of strep throat or flu. Even during rare family vacation travels, we packed Sunday clothes and shoes no matter our...
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A Living Sacrifice by Kathryn Lynard
I SHIFTED MY WEIGHT on the pew and sighed as the sacrament meeting speaker stood to begin his talk. Seven months pregnant, I was swollen and sore, big-bellied, and exhausted from the constant demands...
View ArticleBest Gift
I’d like to tell you the story of the best Christmas present I ever received. It does not involve a doll, or shoes, or a new dress, or any other tropes from Christmas songs and stories. Not that...
View ArticleBreaking the Silence: Surviving Incest
I am a sexual abuse and incest survivor. My abuser was my best friend. She was my sister. A few years ago when the #metoo movement began, I thought, So many women I know have suffered sexual abuse:...
View ArticleGlass Grapes & Grieving
As a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my college years in New England, I learned the craft of creating apple dolls just like the kind sold in the gift shop at Sturbridge...
View ArticleTaking the Name of God in Vain?
I was brought up to never, ever “take the Lord’s name in vain.” As a kid growing up among peers with colorful language, my milquetoast exclamations made me feel like a Puritan. Oh my gosh. Dang it....
View ArticleEnd at Start, Light with Dark, Holiday or Ho Hum, Go and Come
The holiday season can be joyous, but it can also be jarring. Voices raise in harmonic “alleluias” or in discordant disagreements. Thoughtful, generous giving can elevate giver and receiver, but...
View ArticleIn Defense of Imagination
As a writer, choosing the right word is a constant preoccupation. This is at no time more true than when trying to comfort someone who is grieving. Especially for an introvert, who has to think through...
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Halloween Apologia
I’ve neglected a neighborly duty. It’s the end of October, and only a couple of days ago I realized I haven’t put out any fall decorations: no bright autumn leaves (Not even fabric maples found only...
View ArticleGood Grief?
It started in late August when my dear friend Rick died. He’d been suffering with wickedly aggressive brain cancer. He also had Parkinson’s. In September we worried that my father-in-law, who is dying...
View ArticleOn Dying
My mom died a year ago. I have been at many births, but this was my first hands-on experience with dying. It was just as beautiful. 14 Nov 2015 Mom died at 4:05 a.m four days ago in her bed at the...
View ArticleDeath Doulas
“Tell me a story . . . What kind of story, child? A story with a happy ending. There’s no such thing in all the world. As a happy ending? As an ending.” – Jeanette Winterson There is no such thing as...
View ArticleSeasons of Grief
Seasons of Grief Summer binds my scar of ache with an embrace of shade. I pull it like a shroud over my head to veil my soundless lips counting each breath. Autumn...
View ArticleNatalie
“Natalie is quickly slipping away.” I read this text on my phone as I sat in the boardroom at work, conducting a meeting with a department supervisor and several leads. As I attempted to talk, to...
View ArticleDearly (Unexpected) Departed
I didn’t know you had died. I found out on my birthday of all days, while I was sucking chocolate icing from my teeth and revelling in the grace and sass of turning forty. I loved you Michael. Loved...
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